birthday blow-out

here's how NOT how to spend your 28th birthday. cook for 28 guests but don't eat dinner. after all guests are served, immediately begin pounding champagne. switch to beer. stuff half a piece of birthday cake your friends have made and presented in your honor in your mouth to take the edge off. then, before leaving the house for the club downtown, down a shot of patron - i mean, how else are you going to catch up to all your friends who have been drinking for hours? take a to-go cup of beer for the cab-ride down. when you arrive at your destination, wait patiently for the waitress to stock your table. cautiously approach the vodka bottle that's been placed before you. but don't hesitate - you are the birthday girl and you damn well better drink it because the bottle's been comped! proceed to mix a very strong vodka cranberry. have another. dance with your friends and make new ones. have another drink. by the time the second bottle comes, it's starting to taste like it's just cranberry juice, right? yeah, that's right.
then, black out. learn later of course that at this point you tell your boyfriend it's time to go. like NOW. leave your friends without saying goodbye. your boyfriend takes you home and you decide you must eat. you grab whatever you can find in the fridge. some chicken wingettes will do just fine. eat as many as you can and then try to get downstairs. shed your jeans on the stairs because they are uncomfortable or...whatever. then, yak up the entire contents of your stomach. but not before falling on the floor, tripping over god knows what, and hitting your head.
sigh....kids, it's time to grow up.
i mean, the thought of any type of liquid this week, and i mean, any, is nauseating to me. and this is just sad, sad, sad. surely my parents would be disappointed. not that i'd recount my adventure to them. to say i'm ashamed would be the understatement of the year.
so why bother to publish this debacle? well i suppose i need some kind of record, and to be held accountable to the 4 people who read this blog. lest i be doomed to repeat my stupid antics this time around next year. oy.

highlight of my week: eating that birthday cake every day for breakfast and dessert after dinner. it's white cake with lemon curd and lemon buttercream frosting. i know your mouth is watering, i just know it. cause mine is and i can't wait to get home to have the little bit that's left in the fridge.