this one won't be about food. well maybe it will be. haven't decided.
you hear a lot about blogs these days. i just saw julie & julia (had read the book, and read julie's blog). what a great idea. and turned into a money-maker to boot. how fab.
i am on the fence about how narcissistic blogging is though. if you put it out there in the ether, how do you know if ppl. read it? do you care? i mean, reallllly care? i've never been much of a writer, though i've kept a journal most of my life and used it more or less as a dumping ground for unpleasant emotions. these are the things i would never want anyone to read - my deep dark secrets. why i keep it out on my nightstand, unlocked of course because i am such a trusting soul. ha.
so the reason for this post. a friend of mine shared some pretty painful news with me yesterday. let's call it her life is going to change - not in a good way - and it's not her fault, nor is it fair. now i know life is not fair. of course i know that. but in every bad/poor situation, i have to believe there is an opportunity somewhere. so she's set out to determine her purpose, which is so admirable. and really puts stupid shit like "does he still like me?" in ridiculous perspective.
lately i have thought often of my purpose too. i have mostly floundered around, even bought a book to help, but i got bored of it and gave up. rather, went on a 2 week vacation and forgot about it. well, see, it just seems to get buried. i get busy and distracted and it gets stuffed down to the bottom of the soul-basement.
today it's bubbling up to the top again. it wants to be heard! maybe for a few reasons. one, my friends news lit a fire under my butt and made me realize how precious time is. and while i feel my life lately has been necessarily lazy and complacent (at least compared to how it used to be, jammed-packed to the gills with activities), i think the sabbatical is over, needs to be over. second, i really feel like something is missing. something a 9-5 (sometimes 9-9) job cannot satiate. something a relationship (sorry, sweetie) cannot satiate. something bigger.
i think it's time i turn over some rocks, dust off some old dreams and get to work on figuring out what it is i need to do. what i want to do. even if it ends up actually taking on a physical manifestation of something small, perhaps it will feel big, meaningful and important to me. so i think have to set some kind of goal and commit myself to following through on it.
it might just be food. but i think it's food plus community. groups. something of that sort. food is under-appreciated alone. it is enhanced by people. food is love when it's given to people, shared by people. at least where i'm from.
so how i harness this i have no idea. but stick around and you just might see how i do it!
